Ezekiel 36:26 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.
Throughout my life I was fortunate that I grew up in a household where my parents modeled following the Lord. I never really caught onto it though and thought that simply going to church was enough. I felt I was better off than the rest of people, so I put God on the backburner and decided I’d do “church” when I got older.
With this kind of mindset, I ended up choosing idols like entertainment and sports instead. I lived selfishly thinking I didn’t need others out of a fear that I’d be hurt in the long run. I was constantly filled with anxious thoughts wondering what life had in store. I thought that if I would please my family I would be satisfied. The choices that I made during that time of my life were just a cover up to the void that I had in my my heart. I didn’t realize the “little sins” I was doing were really breaking the father's heart.
In my 2nd year of college, I was tired of living a lonely life and believing that the world could satisfy me. I surrendered to God and prayed that he’d send me a friend who would show me what it meant to follow after Him, AND HE DID! One week later I met my small group leader who's now my best friend and someone who I look up to dearly. She displayed a love in her eyes that I couldn’t deny and talked about God like she actually knew Him.
When you see something valuable you can’t help but desire it and for me I realized that was Jesus. I didn't want just the knowledge of Jesus, I wanted more of Jesus. So, night after night, I asked God to make me more like Him, not knowing the refinement that was to come. God showed me that He wanted to tear down the walls that I had built around my heart. As I’ve pursued God’s heart, He has shown me how beautiful real intimacy with Him is. He renewed my mind and deepened my capacity to love others in ways I never thought possible. I now hope that lost souls would see my King in His true glory.
I love that God makes life with Him simple. I walk with Him on a path that is not yet known to me, but I’m totally satisfied with whatever He has in store. He knows me and I know Him. I love Him and He gives me a love for those who are still lost. I seek to honor and glorify Him in all that I do because He is worthy! I pray that you would place God on His throne where He deserves.