Larry-Liberated

Coming into UTSA, I was very angry. I had lived a life of unforgiveness, depression, self-loathing and vice. I depended on drugs, people, and worldly things to fill a void I felt in my heart. Throughout my grade school years, I was bullied which led me to self-harm and physically fight my way out of problems. I had a heart of stone, but little did I know that Jesus would change that here at the UTSA campus. In my past, coming from El Paso, I was atheist for many years, Buddhist for two, but I felt there had to be something greater than me. (Mostly coming from a near death experience where doctors had to induce a coma on me.) I was living in sin and depression, when I met a friend who introduced me to Jesus. They poured much love, attention, and joy into my life and answered questions I had about who God is. They introduced me to a Christian church, and I felt such a peace there. I would later understand it was the true presence of God there. As time passed, I prayed for repentance and was saved in El Paso but I was trying to seek my own will. At the time I was only looking for a Savior, and not a Lord. I didn’t want to obey, nor fully understand how God wanted me to live.

            Here at UTSA my roommate told me he was a Christian and I told him I needed to reconnect with a good church. He invited me to Chi Alpha service in the fall of 2018. There I met a Japanese man who radiated peace. I heard a voice, the Holy Spirit, tell me to seek him out and that I would learn so much from him. I was still smoking weed, had idols, and was very selfish but I was convicted to talk to this guy. I did, and as time progressed I eventually joined a small group and began to read the Bible for myself. The Truth began to set me free, and the Holy Spirit began to convict me of sin in my life. When I was reading my first Gospel, I stopped at John 13:34. I was convicted and saddened at how Jesus had such a beautiful command to have love for everyone, but I hated so many people. I learned how to forgive people, forgive myself, and allow the Lord to break down my old foundation. I really saw the Lord move in my life in such a real and supernatural way that I wanted to obey, and was baptized in Corpus Christi TX on December 15, 2018. It has been a journey, from 2018 to 2019- I lost so many things and people I had idolized, but the Lord showed me that all I needed was Him. At the end of my rope, I cried out to God and told Him I knew scripture said He could satisfy me, and that I needed Him to show me that. I told Jesus I needed Him, and I wanted to learn how to love Him, and not the things of this world nor of the flesh. He delivered me from idolized relationships, depression, drugs, other addictions, and anger. 

            I can say I have wrestled with God. Through countless nights crying, praying, and trusting the Lord, He showed me how faithful He is. I learned WHO Jesus is, and how much He loves me and those around me. I can humbly say I know the God I serve, and how liberating it feels to walk in love and a peace that surpasses all understanding. Currently, I have been leading my own small group, growing with my brothers to learn what the Bible says about topics and issues in life, and sharing what God has been doing in and through our lives. God showed me how to love Him, and how to love His children. Just know YOU were made in the image of God. God can save you from your past and hurt, if you’d allow Him to show you a love like you’ve never experienced. All things will come and go, but He is constant and eternal. I think back at how much has happened since last year and how intentional God has been with me. He gave me such great brothers, friends, leaders, and a community to walk alongside me in my trials. God is so good, and I can say the best decision I have made in my life has been to follow Jesus.

  “Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ” Philippians 3:8 ESV

            I came to UTSA thinking I was simply going to finish Graduate school, never expecting to meet God on the campus! He has shown Himself through the friends who would love on me, as I wrestled with my past, God, and myself. This is only the beginning, and if you’d like to know more let me know. I love sharing as it reminds me of how good Jesus is, and how if He would deliver me from my past, what else wouldn’t He do?