The Depth of a Friend

-by Ariel Sosa

This topic has changed my life and what I know to be true about friendship. As you read this please be honest and ask yourself if you know how to be a good friend.

What comes to mind when you think about a friend? Is it someone you take pictures with to portray a happy life? Or someone you see occasionally during your lunch break? Maybe it’s someone you hang out with out of convenience? Honestly, you could say that none of these apply to the meaning of being a friend, that it’s much deeper. I’m glad, but you’re a rare one. 

Our culture focuses the purpose of friendship on what you can receive vs. what you can give. We’ve developed the attitude of “me vs the world”. Still, there will always be the desire to have a friend. Even if you have a family, a relationship, maybe no one at all, no matter who you are, that longing will never leave you. It’s because that desire was given to us by God. He created us to have a friendship with Him first, but we’ve substituted it with a friendship with the world. 

My world was shaken when I understood that I could never be a good friend to anyone, not until I knew how to be a good friend to God. If I wanted a friendship with God, I had to be His friend too. It’s a mutual pursuit and not one sided, just like in a real friendship. In John 15 Jesus calls us His friends, if we are to obey His commands-love God and others. So how can we be His friend?- by loving others. And how do we love others? By loving God first. 

The purity of God’s love can never be shared if you haven’t experienced it with Him first. So, what is true friendship? In the bible there are many qualities that describe a friend. Here are just a few: loves deeply, accepts discipline, bears your burdens, forgives, honors, lives in unity, serves, joyful, is compassionate, kind, humble, gentle and pleads for you to God. All these attributes point to the character of Jesus. He is the best friend you could ever have and He is the model of how we should be a friend to others. 

I want to share how I saw my friends represent Jesus in one of the hardest times in my life. Last summer my grandpa suddenly passed away. He was like a father to me and I had never suffered such grief before. I couldn’t get out of bed, read my bible or eat. It was such a low point. But I had friends who were willing to be there for me and I want to tell you about two of them. The night my grandpa passed I called my friend Vanessa. She listened and spoke gently as I shared my heart in such an honest way. As I layed in bed the next morning, my friend Krystal showed up in my room and simply sat with me. I was in such a vulnerable state that she saw all my hurt, pain and tears. She cried with me, listened to me and grieved with me. They both were willing to walk through pain with me just as we have walked through the pleasures of life together. Those moments have knitted us closer than ever. 

Years ago I prayed to God for one friend who would show me Jesus and in return He multiplied my friendships beyond measure. I’ve learned to pursue my friends now with a depth that matches how God constantly pursues me. I love them so much. 

A friend is not only someone who loves you but likes you. They don’t need you but still choose you. They don’t know of you but are known by you. I pray that you would discover the beauty in a friendship with God. I also ask that you would always be willing to go deeper with the friends who can lead you closer to Him. 

Concviction: If you want a friend, be a friend.

Questions to ask yourself:

Is God my friend and if not who’s taking his rightful place?”

How can I learn to be a friend to God?

What’s stopping me from having deeper friendships now?